Tag: Humor

Brijesh Jha’s Diary – unreliable, unnecessary, unsolicited

Brijesh Jha’s Diary – unreliable, unnecessary, unsolicited

By P. Jeganathan & Swati Sidhu


The date: 31 December 2050

The scene: Late Brijesh Jha’s grandson Bunty is flipping through Brijesh Jha’s diary for the year 2011.

Buntyyyyyyy, what are you doing?”

Nothing ma, just going through grandpa’s diary. It has news clippings of 2011 with his personal notes. Curious to know the happenings in that year.

Alright. Just put it back in a safe place once you are done.”

January 2011

Finally… my friend managed to capture one of his first Nilgiri Martens. In coming months he will be tracking this species. This is great! We will now learn something about this elusive species.

Tycoon Majay Villaya, owner of herbal tonic ‘The Crow’, released this year’s calendar at a big press event. Several leading models and actors have posed for this calendar. The money generated from sales will go towards damselfly and dragonfly conservation in India.

February 2011

It was an amazing day as finally photographic evidence for presence of ivory-billed woodpecker arrived. This pays-off for the hard work that went into years of searching for the species.

A new species of frog and a millipede are discovered in the biggest ever mega-hydroelectric project site in Andhra Pradesh. The Minister for Forests has announced that this area will be diverted towards conservation of the newly-discovered species.

The Governments of several Asian nations signed a MoU for setting aside 80,000 hectares of area in their respective countries for snow leopard conservation.

March 2011

In a dramatic incident in Malgudi, the poacher responsible for one of the tiger deaths in this region was found captured in a jaw-trap set by himself. The gory photograph of the poacher, showing his left leg caught in jaw-trap, appeared in front cover of Posmocoliton magazine.

April 2011

Finally, the Government of Gujarat has accepted to donate five pairs of Lion Finches Leo fringilla to the Kenyan government, where these finches went extinct in wild, in 2009. A new population of Lion Finches, which were earlier believed to be only found in Africa, was recently discovered in remote part of Gujarat. Keeping in mind the causes that could lead to the extinction of a single, isolated population of Lion Finches, the government generously agreed for this translocation.

May 2011

The Government of Tamil Nadu announced that Indira Gandhi Wildlife Sanctuary has been upgraded to Anamalai Impatiens Reserve. Every month the Reserve will be renamed after different taxa. The taxa will be chosen using inky-pinky-ponky system, a selection procedure which has stood the test of time. It will be performed by government department officials, local NGOs, and public.

Today, the honorable Prime Minister has announced a bold decision to block all highways passing through Protected Areas at night-time after 6 pm. This is essentially to reduce road mortality of wild animals and disruption of their movement routes.

A new population of Jerdon’s Courser is discovered in Chittoor district of Andhra Pradesh.

June 2011

Varyan Karma, was announced the best photographer for year 2011 by FTV, for his lovely portrait of a female hippo swimming in a mud-pool.

Two Indian scientists finally solved the Malabar Civet mystery. Their study on genetic analysis of civet skins (supposed to be of Malabar Civet) revealed that all the specimens belonged to Large Spotted Civet.

Rani Manthram, the famous Indian film director, won an Oscar for his movie ‘Gliding wanderer’. The movie is on the life-history of Wandering Gliders. During his acceptance speech, he mentioned that he started this movie in memory of the wandering glider that acted (and later died on spot during the film shooting) in one of his earlier movies.

July 2011

My friend won the The Weekly Wildlife Nature and Conservation Photography Challenge, a contest on Facebook, with a huge margin. He told me over the phone that this is the first time he won without campaigning or tampering for votes! It’s a big secret.

The entire film crew of the movie ‘In the Place of Butterfiles’, which was being shot at Lalbaug, Bangalore, was arrested. They caught several butterflies to decorate the leading actor’s hair, and while doing so, disturbed the prime micro-habitat of several species of butterflies. The forest department officials filed a case against the film crew, while, the district magistrate ordered life imprisonment for the film director and producer. He also imposed a fine on members of the entire crew for their irresponsible behavior towards these beautiful creatures and important pollinators of the ecosystem.

Five pairs of vultures, reared in the captive breeding centre, were released in the wild. The Director of the Centre, who released these vultures, mentioned that these vultures were fitted with microchips having GPS facility. This will enable the research team to monitor movement of the vultures.

August 2011

The tigers in Indian Tiger Reserves have gone on a strike demanding for fewer tiger shows and more time to relax per week. Their main complaint is that there is a lot of pressure to perform the whole day, which leaves them with less time to eat and mate. This has lead to signs of depression and ill-health. The government will have to now take this seriously; otherwise, it might lose a lot of money coming from and for tiger-centric tourism.

Gharial population shows signs of recovery. This was made possible by local community participation involving sand miners.

……Buntyyyyyyyyy, what are you doing? Come for lunch.”

I am still reading the diary, mama. “

Enough for now. Read later.”

I will come after sometime. Only four more months left. “

No. Come immediately.

Alright. I am coming.”

Bunty closes the diary and goes for lunch.


Disclaimer: All names and characters mentioned in Brijesh Jha’s diary are fictional and bear no resemblance to any person dead or alive. Any resemblances are merely coincidental. The views represented in this blog post are based on pure imagination of the authors and do not represent the prevailing view in the scientific community.